The 5 Things We Get Wrong When it Comes to Raising Strong-Willed Kids
And what we need to consider.
Most parents who reach out to me for support have a child whom they describe as strong-willed. What does this really mean?
Usually, these kids are highly observant, defiant, smart (very smart), it can often feel like they are operating five steps ahead of you, they struggle to regulate their emotions when things don’t go their way, they’re very charming and loving, and they are quite determined to achieve a specific outcome.
I recently noticed on social media that many in the parenting space are not fond of the words "strong-willed" or "defiant." They prefer sensitive or deeply feeling. Here’s the truth: it doesn’t matter what we call it. We need to know how to connect with our kids exactly as they are, and bring out the best in them!
I love strong-willed kids. I don’t see the term as negative, and I also think defiance is a healthy trait. I have worked with several strong-willed kids, and they have been my greatest teachers.
There is nothing wrong with being strong-willed; in fact, I find it admirable. These kids are self-determined, and they are meant to be movers and shakers.
Our job as parents is to teach them how to use their power for good and to understand and respect the needs of others. Those two things can exist at the same time.
Here are the five things we get wrong when it comes to raising strong-willed kids.